Those of you familiar with The Onion ("America's Finest News Source") may have seen this one, but I find it too good not to share:

Mad Sabermetrician Creates The Perfect Baseball Player's Statistics

I'll resist the temptation to just post it in its entirety (it's very short), but I was both amused and a bit pleased to read the last line of the piece:

Neeman's earlier attempts to produce the perfect player's statistics failed, as each of his first eight results was identical to Albert Pujols' 2005 batting line.